A friend recently posed this question to me: if I had to live on a deserted island for one year with no possibility of escape or rescue, what five things, other than basic survival things like food, water, and shelter would I want to have with me.
Here’s my list:
The Tao te Ching (unless there is electricity, then my Kindle, but that seems like cheating)
Paper
Pens
A watercolor kit with paint and brushes
A camera—I know, the electricity thing again, but we won’t be super-strict with the rules.
As I thought about this, I realized I could have fun and stay really absorbed. And that alone is a happy thought. I’d keep a journal, of course, and then write all the things I never get around to, teach myself to paint, and take lots of interesting pictures. My island, as I imagine it, has interesting shells and rocks and birds and plants and driftwood for creative inspiration.
Through it all, I’d read the Tao to keep inspired. Maybe I’d understand it better at the end of the year.
After doing this little exercise, these questions came to mind:
What possessions really add to our happiness?
What do we really need for entertainment, for inner growth, for self-expression?
What would we be willing to give up if resources were really limited?
What would you bring along with you? And how would it be to be alone with yourself? Post your answers in the comments section.
2. Creativity is associated with positive emotions such as happiness, joy, and love. Contrary to popular myth, the negative emotions of fear, sadness, and anxiety stifle creativity. Don’t believe it? Read this.
3. It’s useful. When you need to solve a problem, you have more options to choose from if you can access creative solutions.
4. It helps you access all of you. Creativity uses both right brain, wholisitc and image based brain processes as well as left brain, logical, verbal, sequential thinking.
5. It requires you to take risks, which develops courage and confidence, and courage and confidence are handy things to have.
6. It develops efficiency. When you are comfortable thinking outside the box, you can get to new solutions more easily.
7. It encourages you to experience “flow,” where you are so fully immersed in what you are doing, that you effortlessly lose your sense of time.
When my daughter was about seven years old, she asked me one day what I did at work. I told her I worked at the college – that my job was to teach people how to draw. She stared back at me, incredulous, and said, “You mean they forget?” ~~ Howard Ikemoto
We do forget don’t we? What happens to us, to our creativity? How do we forget that we can draw and dance and paint and playfully express ourselves in thousands of creative, fun, meaningful ways?
I’ve been reading Ellen Langer’s excellent exploration of creativity, On Becoming an Artist. Here’s a rundown of some of the culprits she names as enemies of our creative expression:
–Judging your creative ideas or attempts. (“Ugh. My painting sucks. I’m just no good at it.”)
–Comparing your creations to the work of others. (“My photography is just not as good as Ansel Adams’.”)
–Fear of making a mistake. (“I can’t draw noses right, ever.”)
–Believing the myth that creativity requires special talent or gift and that we don’t have it. (“I’d love to write a poem, but I don’t have any talent.”)
If you are telling yourself any of this, notice the effect it has on you. Notice how you feel. Are you inspired, do you want to sit at your piano when you are critical? Do want to pick up a pen?
Where are you judging yourself, comparing yourself, fearing a mistake? Let it go and just dive in. Enjoy the process of painting, with no thought about the quality of your result. Grab your camera, and point it at the light. Forget about whether a masterpiece will emerge.
Remind yourself of the fun it is to put beautiful color on paper, that practice or a class will improve your skills, and that even accomplished artists spend time developing their gifts. Find the thoughts that liberate and inspire you.
Take a lesson from Howard’s daughter—remember that you know how to draw. You know how to paint and sing and dance, too. You’ve just forgotten how for the moment. When you put down the thoughts that get in your way, and instead, pick up the pencil, you’ll remember exactly how to do it.
Okay, I’m going to fess up, right up front (Truth). This is shameless nepotism (Truth, Desire). When you click this link, it takes you to two short films which are in hot competition (Risk) for broadcast on New York’s public television station. The one that gets the most votes will be shown next week (Joy, for someone, at least.)
My daughter Amber was the production designer for The Greatest Gift, which means that she planned and executed the visual look (Creativity). Watch it and notice the set, the colors, the clothing. She chose the location, dressed the characters, and prepared the jello.
The film has many elements of our Joy Diet (Treats, Play, Creativity, Connection, Truth, oh such Truth), if you like horror movies. And don’t worry, it’s not scary, really. We’ve been laughing all afternoon, watching it and monitoring the vote tally.
Here’s my fantasy (Desire, Creativity, Play). The Greatest Gift wins due to an overwhelming groundswell of support from joy dieters everywhere (mondo Desire, Creativity, Play). The film gets aired on public television next weekend, and a famous Hollywood director sees it, and offers her a lucrative position on his next film (humongous Desire, Creativity). She moves to California and launches a fabulous career (Joy).
From now on, I get to visit her in sunny California. I’m here in New York with her this weekend, and it’s a bone-chilling 25 degrees and windy. My eyeballs almost froze in my head this afternoon (Truth, I swear).
Ah, sunny California. I can almost feel it!
So go vote, ASAP–the election ends this Tuesday. Yes, we can.
My yoga teacher, Natalie Morales, said this in class yesterday, “Let go of your struggles for now.” Isn’t that what we do with our Joy Diet practices? We let go of our struggles while we do Nothing, as we seek the Truth, as we connect with our Desires, as we express our Creativity.
As we let our struggles go, we discover they are optional. We learn that we can create struggles, and that we can let them go, for a few moments, for the length of a yoga class, and in many instances, for as long as we choose.
My creative exploration continues. My list contains Barcelona, Ischia, Italy, the Scottish Highlands, Jamaica, South Africa. Why? Barcelona for the beauty of the Gaudi architecture, Ischia to discover my great-grandmother’s home, the Highlands to connect with my mother’s forebears, Jamaica to be of service, Paris because its there.
Then I realized I could probably take my coaching practice to Paris or Barcelona, and stay there for an extended time. I know a writing coach who is in Paris for six months, and is still working with her US clients. She speaks with them on Skype, which is a free service. I could get an apartment in Europe, and stay as long as I wanted. Now that’s an idea that is really exciting. It seems really far-fetched and scary, too, until I realize that what makes it far-fetched and scary is the way I’m thinking about it.
The writing coach in Paris righ now obviously didn’t think it was such a crazy idea. For now, I’ll take Natalie’s advice, and let go of my struggles. I’ll just enjoy the excitement of this idea.
One of the themes of my desire list is travel. Travelling independently and enjoying it. Here’s today’s list of creative ways to achieve more of it:
1. Keep in better touch with friends who live in other places.
2. Visit my kids in New York City, rather than having them come to me.
3. Find a good cat sitter, so I don’t worry when I’m gone.
4. Buy a suitcase that’s smaller than the one I usually use, so I can take trips a few days long, and bring less stuff, which will make it easier to travel.
5. Look for websites with house trading.
Although these are all good ideas, the house trading really got my attention and got me excited. And it’s doable.
After reading an email from Nerissa Neilds, a singer-songwriter/coach in our Joy Diet class, I looked at her whimsical website, listened to her music, and even went searching for her song lyrics. I was entranced by her artistry and her authenticity. She’s also the mom of a 7 week old and a 2 year old.
In one song a father sings about his daughter, who is growing up. This line got me:
I don’t want to hear your story
I can’t bear to know your world
I thought of my children, trying to make it as artists in New York City. And an old story erupted in my head—if only I had been more creative and whimsical and lighthearted when my kids were younger, they’d be happier now. The new twist to the story is that I should have been more like Nerissa. But, the story goes, I was a tense, crabby trial lawyer. I wish I could have a do-over, knowing what I know now. I should have shown them how to be happy. I should have been a better mother.
This is an old, very painful story—probably the most painful one I carry. It fuels deep sadness in me. Everything in my Joy Diet had to wait while I got back to the Truth.
How can I change this to another story that might work better? I can show my children a more joyful, lighthearted version of me now. I can’t do this when I perseverate on my “I should have been a better mother” story. I can help other mothers and children now, but only when I leave my past (and my painful untrue interpretations of it) behind me, and live what I know now.
Here’s the truth: my children are happy and they both recall having a very happy childhood. They might not have tried to live in New York City, or live artistic lives, if they hadn’t been exposed to my inextinguishable determination, which was part of my lawyer identity. Maybe they’d be miserable accountants if I’d been more creative. Without their exact past, including me as I was, they wouldn’t be who they are now. Their childhood was the perfect foundation for them.
After writing this and crying some, I re-read Nerissa’s lyrics. I realized that I’d focused on and interpreted lyrics in a way that created pain for me, and missed these words, the beautiful ending of the song:
She turns and says “I can see you
And I always knew there’d be a road back to here.”
Beautiful, my little Glory
You’ll always be my baby girl
Won’t you let me hear your story
Beautiful, my little glory
You’ll always be my baby girl
I am following your story
I am leaving you the world.
Who would I be without my story? Thanks, Nerissa, for helping me back to the Truth in such a beautiful way.
P.S. In the above video, Nerissa is playing guitar and the other woman is her singing partner and sister, Katryna. They are singing “Give Me A Clean Heart,” written by Nerissa. A perfect kick-off to a week of Creativity.
Yesterday, I chose The Ticker Tape method of Doing Nothing. As my thoughts arose I visualized them moving across a mental screen, and named them.
Since they were tame, I nick-named them instead of naming the emotion. I had the I’m-hungry thought, some to-do-tomorrow thoughts, the I-want-chocolate-instead-of-dinner thought, the whoops-I’m-in-someone-else’s-business thought, and the whoops-I’m-thinking-again-thought.
Then, I had the my-son-didn’t-call-me-like-he-was-supposed-to-so-I-could-fax-him-the-information-to-pay-his-traffic-ticket-and-I-forgot-about-it-until-now thought. I laughed as I named it the I-forgot-to-worry-about-this-until-now thought. And was hilarious to realize how worrying is so optional.
By bestowing each thought cluster with a name, I easily wiggled free from them, especially from the one about my son not calling, which had the potential to get me going. But by naming it, it floated by, just another thought in a marching thought parade.
When my 15 minutes of doing nothing was up, I chose not to react to my son’s inaction. His ticket. His business. The best way to handle it, of course.
The name-that-thought process was fun, like a game. As I said in class, creativity is one of my signature strengths on the Values in Action Inventory, and here I had an opportunity to be creative, right in the middle of doing nothing. How cool is that!
So what do you think? Is it okay to be creative and have fun as we are on our way?
Here’s my list:
1. It’s fun.
We do forget don’t we? What happens to us, to our creativity? How do we forget that we can draw and dance and paint and playfully express ourselves in thousands of creative, fun, meaningful ways?
