Inner180

Imagine that you won the lottery.  Go ahead.  Dream big.  No, even bigger.

How much is your ticket worth?  How will you feel when you win?  Get really comfortable and breathe the feeling of total financial freedom right down into your bones.

When I do this exercise with my Fearless About Finances class, many participants can’t imagine having so much money that they will never again worry about it.  Some of them stew about how big the lottery ticket is.  Some panic during this exercise, inextricably bound to their feelings of lack.  Who would I be, they seem to ask, without my identity being completely tied up in money fears and woes?  For these folks, life without financial fear is such an identity shift that they can scarcely dream about it.

Which is the whole point of the exercise.  Those who can break through, who can imagine the feeling state of giving up, forever, worries about money, discover something delicious.  That feeling state is available to us now.  Right in this moment, no matter what size our bank accounts are, no matter how many bills sit on our desks, no matter what the state of the economy is.

Worrying about money (or anything else) does not serve us.  It robs us of our creative juice, our intelligence, and our energy.  It does not bring us resources, financial or otherwise.  It is not a motivating force; it is draining, debilitating.

The feeling state of freedom, however, is energizing, inspiring, motivating, delicious.  And always available, no matter what is going on in the outside world.

Try it.  Let go of your worries about whether new clients will call, your employer will lay you off, your grant will be funded, the stock market will rebound before you retire.  Let go of the part of you that imagines that the wolf is at the door.  Just try it, temporarily.  (You can always re-conjure it up later, if you’d like.)

The Truth is this: both the delights of freedom and the shackles of worry are created inside us.  Right in our heads.  By our thoughts about the world, not from the events in the world.  If you can create worry and distress with your thoughts, you can also create freedom and inspiration with your thoughts.  And with light, free feelings, our hearts and minds and spirits are fully available and free to soar.

So imagine something wonderful, like, say a $35,000,000 winning ticket.  Get into how it feels and really relish it. After all, isn’t that the whole point of wanting a flourishing business, a relationship, a baby, a fabulous career, or whatever else you long for?  The happiness and satisfaction it will bring, right?  Just go there first, in your imagination, with your thoughts. Then feel what it brings and luxuriate in it.  The journey then becomes as extraordinarily fantabulous as the destination.  You won’t even need to buy a ticket.

A friend recently posed this question to me:  if I had to live on a deserted island for one year with no possibility of escape or rescue, what five things, other than basic survival things like food, water, and shelter would I want to have with me.

Here’s my list:

The Tao te Ching (unless there is electricity, then my Kindle, but that seems like cheating)
Paper
Pens
A watercolor kit with paint and brushes
A camera—I know, the electricity thing again, but we won’t be super-strict with the rules.

As I thought about this, I realized I could have fun and stay really absorbed.  And that alone is a happy thought.  I’d keep a journal, of course, and then write all the things I never get around to, teach myself to paint, and take lots of interesting pictures.  My island, as I imagine it, has interesting shells and rocks and birds and plants and driftwood for creative inspiration.

Through it all, I’d read the Tao to keep inspired.  Maybe I’d understand it better at the end of the year.

After doing this little exercise, these questions came to mind:

What possessions really add to our happiness?
What do we really need for entertainment, for inner growth, for self-expression?
What would we be willing to give up if resources were really limited?

What would you bring along with you?  And how would it be to be alone with yourself?  Post your answers in the comments section.

1.  It’s fun.

2.  Creativity is associated with positive emotions such as happiness, joy, and love. Contrary to popular myth, the negative emotions of fear, sadness, and anxiety stifle creativity.  Don’t believe it?  Read this.

3.  It’s useful.  When you need to solve a problem, you have more options to choose from if you can access creative solutions.

4.  It helps you access all of you. Creativity uses both right brain, wholisitc and image based brain processes as well as left brain, logical, verbal, sequential thinking.

5.  It requires you to take risks, which develops courage and confidence, and courage and confidence are handy things to have.

6.  It develops efficiency.  When you are comfortable thinking outside the box, you can get to new solutions more easily.

7.  It encourages you to experience “flow,” where you are so fully immersed in what you are doing, that you effortlessly lose your sense of time.

8.  It relieves boredom.

9.  It makes life way more interesting.

10.  Because you are creative.

When my daughter was about seven years old, she asked me one day what I did at work. I told her I worked at the college – that my job was to teach people how to draw. She stared back at me, incredulous, and said, “You mean they forget?” ~~ Howard Ikemoto

We do forget don’t we?  What happens to us, to our creativity?  How do we forget that we can draw and dance and paint and playfully express ourselves in thousands of creative, fun, meaningful ways?

I’ve been reading Ellen Langer’s excellent exploration of creativity, On Becoming an Artist. Here’s a rundown of some of the culprits she names as enemies of our creative expression:

–Judging your creative ideas or attempts.  (“Ugh.  My painting sucks.  I’m just no good at it.”)
–Comparing your creations to the work of others. (“My photography is just not as good as Ansel Adams’.”)
–Fear of making a mistake.  (“I can’t draw noses right, ever.”)
–Believing the myth that creativity requires special talent or gift and that we don’t have it.  (“I’d love to write a poem, but I don’t have any talent.”)

If you are telling yourself any of this, notice the effect it has on you.  Notice how you feel.  Are you inspired, do you want to sit at your piano when you are critical?  Do want to pick up a pen?

Where are you judging yourself, comparing yourself, fearing a mistake?  Let it go and just dive in.  Enjoy the process of painting, with no thought about the quality of your result.  Grab your camera, and point it at the light.  Forget about whether a masterpiece will emerge.

Remind yourself of the fun it is to put beautiful color on paper, that practice or a class will improve your skills, and that even accomplished artists spend time developing their gifts.  Find the thoughts that liberate and inspire you.

Take a lesson from Howard’s daughter—remember that you know how to draw.  You know how to paint and sing and dance, too.  You’ve just forgotten how for the moment.  When you put down the thoughts that get in your way, and instead, pick up the pencil, you’ll remember exactly how to do it.

I once met a woman who won the lottery.  Even though she’d already won about $500,000, she still bought lottery tickets regularly.  She told me it is very common among lottery winners to continue to play the lottery.  She absolutely knew she was lucky, and actually intended to win a second time.

My friend Kathy says she has great parking space luck.  Every time we go somewhere we park right by the front door of wherever we’re going.  She says this always happens.

I no longer think that this is random or coincidental or weird.  I think we create our luck.  We choose to allow it into our lives.  So how can we create more luck in our lives?  Try these suggestions:

Notice the luck you already have. Remember how you found that amazing jacket that fits perfectly, the last one in the store, the one that was on sale?  And how all of the traffic lights were lined up green as you drove downtown?  And how you sat next to someone at a luncheon who became your best client?  You are lucky already, aren’t you?   Now, just notice it more.

Believe that life happens for you, not to you. Even when circumstances are tough—you are laid off from work or your teenager is picked up by the police for violating your town’s curfew—know that this opens a doorway to something positive, something better for you.  Maybe it will be a more satisfying job or a chance to connect more deeply with your teen.  Whatever happens, allow it to be an opportunity to move forward, to allow something better, to grow.

Think like a lucky person. Our thoughts determine our feelings and from there we act in ways that bring us the results we get in life.  Lucky people think they are lucky, and act in ways that confirm it.

My friend Kathy has good-parking karma because she begins and ends her search with the best parking spaces in the lot.  She does this because she expects an opening there.  If she searched for a space in the back row, that’s where she’d find one, and that’s where she’d park.  And she would never think she was lucky.

Because they think they are lucky, lucky people feel lucky and act like they are lucky.  In other words, they make their luck.

So what would happen in your life if you thought you were lucky?  What if you expected life to be filled with wonder and magic and luck and great parking spots?  What thoughts would you think?  How would you feel if you believed that wonderful things would come your way, all day long?  Would you act differently?  Would you look for the best parking spaces in the lot?  Try it.  Then just notice what happens.

From Joy Dieter Bonnie’s journal…

I’m up early, 4:30.  I put on Christmas music, light a fire in the fireplace, and pour the first cup of freshly brewed coffee.  I get out the card stock printed with a poem from Martha Beck’s book Steering by Starlight. I have bought a stamp of cascading snowflakes, an artsy ink pad and glitter to add a touch of magic to the insert for my Christmas cards.

I stamp the first poem. Hmmm. It doesn’t look so special. Hmmm. I add some glitter. Oh **!!??!!!**!! I blobbed. That looks stupid! I try again. I blob again! I take my finger and try to artfully smear my blob. Oh !!!XXX******1?!! I have tons of these to do!! Pull yourself together girl! After all you are an artist. This stuff, these stupid stamps and dumb glitter, is for kids for goodness sake!

I notice I don’t feel so Christmassy. My faced is screwed up. My shoulders are tight.  As I’m holding the glitter bottle, I notice that my hand and my teeth are clenched. I yell at my cat when he comes onto the table and attempts to relax amongst the craft supplies and just hang with me. Damn cat! Damn Christmas cards! Damn, damn, damn!

I move, to brood, in front of the fire. My journal is there beside the couch. I pour a second cup of coffee and write: “What are you thinking girl?”

“The inserts look stupid. I thought this would be fun. I thought they would be special. They’re not good enough.  I want people to like them, to think that they are special. I should have gone back to the place where I bought those bookmarks last year. Everyone really liked them and I got a lot of compliments.”

Whoa! Hang on one minute.
THEY aren’t good enough? Is that true?
That’s a really special poem you’ve got there.

“ I want the insert to be special. I’m giving it as a gift. I want it to be something people will like and appreciate and value.”

Sounds pretty demanding to me. Sounds pretty manipulating. You send it, and they will what?,  do what you want? be how you want?  Reminds me of a ransom note, Do this, or else… How do you feel when you think the inserts aren’t good enough?

“I feel like throwing everything out. I feel like trashing the cards, like throwing them in the fireplace.”

Doesn’t sound like peace and goodwill to me.
.
“I want people to like them.”

Like them? Tell me where I’m wrong here, but it sounds like it’s about you – about whether people like you. You want people to like you, isn’t that what’s true here?

“Okay, I do want people to like me. But, I want people to like the insert in the card. I just don’t think the inserts are good enough?”

You think, the INSERTS are not good enough?

Hmmmmmm. “Maybe I’m thinking I’m not good enough!”

What could you send if you felt, “I am good enough.”, or,  “I Am enough.” ?

“I could send love. I wouldn’t even need to send cards, I could engage every person on my card list in my heart and send them love. Or I could send love, that I’m actually feeling, with each card.”

How do you feel when you think, “I can send love.”?

“Good! I feel happy and open and Christmassy. I feel loving.”

Okay. Lets start again                                            :
Martha passed along a gift, pass it on.
Where did the gift come from?

“Hmmmm, The Source. The Source so loved the world a gift was given….
Hmmmm. The African people received the gift and passed it on.”

Good. Martha received a gift and passed it on…

“I received it and I pass it on.
The card insert receivers receive it and… that’s their business I stay out of it.”

Good! How do you feel now?

“I feel unwound, happy, relaxed, I feel Christmassy. I can feel the warmth of the fire, I can hear the beautiful Christmas music and I realize my cat is snuggled up beside me as I journal.”

How do you feel about the stamping and the glitter and everything now?

“I look forward to playing with the stamps and glitter. Really playing, joyfully playing, imprinting each card with joy and love and goodwill, blobs and all. I receive and I pass it on….I’m going to live while I’m alive!”

Live while you are alive…
Learn to be what you are in the seed of your spirit
Learn to free yourself from all things that have molded you
And which limit your secret and undiscovered road…
Never forget that love
Requires that you be
The greatest person you are capable of being,
Self-generating and strong, and gentle -
Your own hero and star…
Be grateful for life as you live it,
And may a wonderful light
Always guide you along the unfolding road.

Election fever is burning here in Miami.  There are yard signs everywhere; on some streets, every house has one. Early voting has opened.  I walked to City Hall with some neighbors yesterday so they could vote. It was Sunday afternoon, and several hundred people were waiting in line.

It was a big outdoor party.  A group of drummers were pounding Caribbean rhythms and blowing horns as they stood in line, a woman on stilts danced to the drums, volunteers (affiliation unknown) handed free water bottles to waiting voters.   A truck from a church unloaded folding chairs for whomever wanted one. I chatted with old friends and people I didn’t know.  It was fun.

Everywhere I go, people are asking each other, very respectfully, whether they have voted.  My friend Lise, who lived in Haiti under Baby Doc’s governance and is now a proud US citizen, laughs and says she will only vote on election day.  She’s superstitious about having her vote count.  My postal carrier smiled and told me she will take off Thursday to vote.  I’ve heard that an 80% turnout is expected here.

My strongest desire today is to continue this heightened sense of connection and to be of service.  What can I do after the election is over, to continue this exciting feeling?

Today’s ideas: volunteer in a library reading to kids, volunteer to do something in the schools having to do with civics or the law, continue to speak with strangers after the election as if there was still a good reason to do so, collect supplies for a school in Jamaica, raise money to renovate a school in Jamaica.

The idea that gets my attention today is to continue to speak with strangers, even after the election, as if I  had a good reason to do so.  And I do have a good reason, actually.  It’s called connection and joy.

My yoga teacher, Natalie Morales, said this in class yesterday, “Let go of your struggles for now.”  Isn’t that what we do with our Joy Diet practices?  We let go of our struggles while we do Nothing, as we seek the Truth, as we connect with our Desires, as we express our Creativity.

As we let our struggles go, we discover they are optional.  We learn that we can create struggles, and that we can let them go, for a few moments, for the length of a yoga class, and in many instances, for as long as we choose.

My creative exploration continues.  My list contains Barcelona, Ischia, Italy, the Scottish Highlands, Jamaica, South Africa.  Why?  Barcelona for the beauty of the Gaudi architecture, Ischia to discover my great-grandmother’s home, the Highlands to connect with my mother’s forebears, Jamaica to be of service, Paris because its there.

Then I realized I could probably take my coaching practice to Paris or Barcelona, and stay there for an extended time.  I know a writing coach who is in Paris for six months, and is still working with her US clients.  She speaks with them on Skype, which is a free service.  I could get an apartment in Europe, and stay as long as I wanted. Now that’s an idea that is really exciting.  It seems really far-fetched and scary, too, until I realize that what makes it far-fetched and scary is the way I’m thinking about it.

The writing coach in Paris righ now obviously didn’t think it was such a crazy idea. For now, I’ll take Natalie’s advice, and let go of my struggles.  I’ll just enjoy the excitement of this idea.

Today, the lightbulb in my head switched on while exploring creative ways to achieve my desire to travel more.  I came up with this list:
–Make a list of all the ways I really travel easily (I’m not a picky eater, I am patient with delays.  I enjoy walking.  I’m strong enough to carry my own stuff. I’m a great houseguest. I’m curious.)
–Make a list of all the ways I don’t travel easily and change them (I over pack, try to do too much at the last minute, hesitate making plans, decisions, and commitments.)
–Watch for airline sales
–Get specific about where I want to go and why—this is it!!!

Getting specific is the key.  I have to get specific.  How can I travel more if I don’t know where I’m going?  This one seems like such a “duh,” but it wasn’t obvious to me until right this second when I wrote this.  I’m going to go back to Desire and let some destinations come to me.  What places get me really excited?  what do I really want to see and learn?  Then I’ll get creative about those specific destinations.

So, how about you?  Have you gotten specific with your Desires?  I bet it’s easier and more effective to Create from a place of more detail.