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Entries from February 2010

Why do you want a relationship?

February 17th, 2010 · 1 Comment

Painted heartWhenever a client wants to talk about how much they want a relationship, I ask why they want to be in a relationship in the first place.   There are a lot of reasons: I don’t like doing things alone, I don’t want to be alone when I’m old, my biological clock is tick, tick, ticking, I’m tired of carrying the whole financial burden. Seems like the major reasons focus on fear, lack, not being okay with what’s true right now.

Do you think this focus is affecting anything?  Is it possible that this is the reason why they don’t have a relationship?

It’s not the most enticing offer to another person, is it?  Please come be with me so I don’t have to be alone, so I can have a baby, so I don’t have to work so hard, so I have something to do.  Sound a wee bit needy?

‘Course we never say it straight out like this.  We drop hints.  And if it works, we’re constantly on guard so we don’t get busted, which is a major drag, not to mention exhausting.

I never hear a client who wants a relationship say this:  I’ve created a fabulous life for myself, I love my time alone, I have great relationships, and I can take care of myself and my needs.  I want to enhance all of this by adding an intimate relationship with a loving partner.  I’ll get to experience giving love all the time and that just feels so wonderful.

Who would you rather be in a relationship with?

I’ve been thinking about relationship questions a lot lately because I’m teaming up this month with best-selling author, wise woman, and wickedly funny Martha Beck, as well as Jeannette Maw, a super cool master coach and law of attraction expert.  I was intrigued by how similar our approaches are, even though Jeannette and I speak in very different languages.

Martha, Jeannette, and I are co-teaching a 4-part-teleclass called How to Attract an Extraordinary Relationship.  It’s going to be fun, informative, and you’ll leave with lots of tools and tips for creating the relationship you want.  More details and sign-up here.

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