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Entries from August 2009

If you dream it you can do it. Really.

August 23rd, 2009 · 14 Comments

I practiced law for a lo-o-ong time.  Doubt, disbelief, and challenge is a blood sport in the law, and nothing is accepted without solid, credentialed proof.  Now, I hang around people who believe in magic, and the more I’m with them and the more I play with magical processes, the more I agree that there are wonderful, whimsical, magical forces guiding our lives.  But I still think I’m rational and intelligent.

rhinoA couple of months ago I made a vision board–my experiment with the concept of influencing reality by regularly viewing inspiring images. I created a collage of African animals, illustrating a deep desire to someday visit the place where humankind first emerged and magnificent animals roam freely.

A few weeks later, I dreamed I was a heroine in a broad, gray-green African veldt, diverting a charging rhino from attacking the small children with me.  Then, I met some wonderful South Africans in Chicago at our coaches’ convention.  And I began to trade Facebook messages with a coach trainee who, unknown to me at the time, is South African.

And just last week, my lunch was served by a lovely South African woman who proudly told me about her beautiful country.

The idea of actually going to Africa in the near future never really occurred to me though.  I could have given you very solid evidence of why and how it would probably never happen.

Just a few days ago, going to Africa existed only in  a mélange of images on my vision board.  And now it’s happening, and at warp speed.  Next Saturday morning, I’ll begin a 26-hour flight to South Africa, to join Martha Beck and a small group of amazing people, many of whom I’ve met either in person or online in just the last month.

Coincidence or synchronicity?  Until I glued those pictures to a slab of foam-core board and propped it up it my bedroom, I knew no South Africans, never had dreamt of Africa, and thought the chances I’d actually get there in my lifetime were wildly improbable.

Today, magic is looking like the rational choice of intelligent people.  I can hardly wait to make my next vision board.  Shall I visit the moon, or stay here on earth to become a principal dancer with the New York City Ballet?

And you?  What are your wildly improbable dreams?  Post them here, make a vision board, and tell everyone you know about your secret desires. Let your imagination run wild, and get excited with the realization that dreams really do come true, and magic just might be the force that makes them happen.

Go ahead and do it! It’s a rational, intelligent act.

Tags: thinking · Uncategorized

Can you say “no” clearly and honestly?

August 6th, 2009 · 2 Comments

monkey-noDo you ever say “yes” or “maybe” when you really want to say “no?”  Or do you muddle your “no” with explanations, excuses, or apologies?

Consider these alternatives:

–I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me.  But you know, I don’t know, I just don’t think it’s a good idea.  I’m sorry.  Please don’t be mad at me.

–No.  I’m not ready to have sex with you.

How about these:

–I really don’t want you to use my car tonight because the last time you went out in it you stayed out until 4 am and you didn’t call me and  I was so worried about you and I just don’t sleep when that happens.

–No, dear.  You can’t borrow my car tonight.

Or these:

–I don’t know.  I’m really tired, and I’m not sure how I’ll feel tonight.  So, I’ll have to call you later.

–No, I’m not available tonight.  Thank you for asking.

How about these options:

–You know, my credit card balances have really crept up and I have to get my washer fixed and go to the dentist and I don’t get paid for another two weeks.  So, I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it.

–No, I can’t lend you money.

When we are not clear in our no’s we open the door to debate and  argument.  We set ourselves up for difficult relationships.  We often agree to do things that conflict with our real desires and our core values.

And whether we reluctantly go along with something because our “no” was never clearly expressed, or we somehow wriggle out of it by offering up enough excuses, we never enjoy ourselves.  Either we wind up doing something we didn’t want to do, or we’re exhausted by our guilt and the effort to get out of it.

One of the most empowering things we can do is to say “no” honestly, clearly, and cleanly.  It gives us both inner strength and peace in our hearts.

Try it out and see how it feels.

Tags: stillness · stress · treats · Uncategorized