Last April, the women on the Central Washington University softball team lost a game to Western Oregon University and forfeited their chance to go to the playoffs. They did it in a spectacularly unusual way.
An opposing player hit a home run over the center-field fence, but she injured her knee, and fell to the ground, unable to run the bases. The umpire ruled that she would forfeit her run, and that her own teammates couldn’t help her. So the Central Washington first baseman and shortstop picked her up, and carried her around the field. She scored, and their team lost.
“In the end, it is not about winning and losing so much,” the first baseman said. “It was about this girl. She hit it over the fence and was in pain, and she deserved a home run.” The three players laughed their way around the field, wondering what the spectators were thinking. You can read the whole story here.
By losing the softball game, these amazing young women won something so much richer. They’ve won a round in finding the real work of life—that of living it to our fullest, finest potential.
Today, I randomly opened the Tao te Ching to this:
“The best athlete wants his opponent at his best.
The best general enters the mind of his enemy.
The best businessman serves the communal good.
The best leader follows the will of the people.
All of them embody the virtue of non-competition.
Not that they don’t love to compete, but they do it in the spirit of play
In this they are like children and in harmony with the Tao.”
The task itself, the way it is approached and performed, is more important than the outcome. This is the spirit of play we bring to our work, our careers, as joy dieters. Living to our fullest potential is not an impossibly tall order when we let go of outcome and just do our best.
One of the most embarrassing memories of my childhood happened in second grade. Even then I loved to read, and could easily get lost in the exploits of Dick and Jane. One morning, the class had moved on from reading to arithmetic, without my noticing. When the teacher called on me for an answer to an arithmetic problem, I looked up from my reading book. Befuddled, I said something which invoked howling laughter from my classmates. I still remember my cheeks burning with humiliation.
To this day, I still get so absorbed in what I’m doing that I totally merge into it. This is Lao Tzu’s concept of non-action, where, as Stephen Mitchell explains in his introduction to the Tao te Ching, “The game plays the game, the poem writes the poem, we can’t tell the dancer from the dance.”
Less and less do you need to force things,
Until finally you arrive at non-action.
When nothing is done,
Nothing is left undone.
Here’s my personal challenge, however. When I’m so absorbed in the thing in front of me, I stay in the mouse’s close-up world, and lose the vision of the eagle, the ability to push back in my chair, stretch, and take a broad view of where I’m headed. Both are vital as we look at our work: that which is our destiny and inspires us.
So my commitment to myself is to shift to the eagle’s view more often, certainly at least once each day. As you’ve been playing this week, have you remembered to shift your focus large and small, eagle and mouse?
Did you ever celebrate the holidays like I used to? For example. I’d decorate a twelve-foot tree with thousands of lights and ornaments, and still be at it moments before 150 people arrived for a party. A party for which I had cooked and baked enough food for 350 people, and bought five new outfits, four of which I’d planned to return before the party. But I hadn’t done that because I was still trying to decide which one to wear while I was putting little blown glass icicles and wooden toy drums and Mexican tin stars in perfect position on the tree.
Of course, I’d was really ticked at my kids for not sharing my enthusiasm to get the tree finished before our guests arrived. If only they had helped, I could have gotten a lot more done before the party. I could have baked another batch of reindeer-shaped hazelnut spice cookies. (Have you ever tried to skin hazelnuts? It’s next to impossible. Takes hours.) I remember my ten-year-old son looking up from the television, shaking his wise little head in bemused detachment and saying, “It’s okay, Mom. No one cares if the tree isn’t finished.”
Susan Hyatt, a Martha Beck Master Coach, taught a teleclass today called “This Ain’t Yo Mama’s Christmas.” It’s about how to enjoy the holidays sanely, authentically, and stress-free by creating a personal and meaningful celebration. Part of the class deals with what she calls “your inner Martha Stewart.”
Where was Susan when I needed her?
Anyway, because I’m on the joy diet and required to play, I called her this morning and left a threatening message from Martha Stewart, instructing her not to make fun of me during her class, and suggesting we talk before I “get my lawyers involved.” Much more fun than an ordinary “please call me” business voicemail.
By the way, if you suffer from Martha Stewartitis, you can get the recording of her class here. It’s a must for joy dieters afflicted with any sort of holiday malady involving hazelnuts.
I love my work more than ever, now that I’m required to play. Stolen straight from Bridgette Boudreau, coach, blogger, and friend, is this cool idea from www.wordle.net. The concept is simple, fun, and even non-techies (you know who you are joy dieters, no excuses) can do this.
If you ever thought computer Solitare or Bejeweled was addicting, watch out!
Today, I’m putting together the new newsletter for Martha Beck Inc. The topic is Money and the Financial Crisis. So I simply had to watch this:
If you know of a funnier movie than Mamma Mia, I’d like to know what it is. Yeah, it’s cheesy, plotless, and the singing is terrible, and it is without parallel for invoking joy, in my humble opinion. The release date for the DVD is November 25. I plan to get my very own copy, so I can “fool around and have a ball” watching it. Whenever I want. No matter what.
By the way, if you’re not on Martha’s email list, you can subscribe here. The new issue, which is coming out really soon, contains a dynamite new tool for overcoming money fears. I’ve tried it and it works.
I bought these orchids yesterday from a street vendor. My reward for a risk and well worth it, I’d say. The risk didn’t turn out the way I wanted, but I got my treat anyway.
And, here are some more treats from my morning walk today. An iguana suns himself on the seawall.
Biscayne Bay is clear and sparkling.
The bougainvilla are spectacular.
I love this door. Looks like Rumi himself might live here.
Start walking towards Shams*
Your legs will become heavy and tired
Then comes the moment
When you feel the wings you’ve grown, lifting
–Rumi
*Shams was the name of Rumi’s mentor, and means “the Sun.” We can interpret this as walking towards our truth, towards our hearts’ desires. Above is Rumi’s tomb, in Konya, Turkey.
Last April, the women on the Central Washington University softball team lost a game to Western Oregon University and forfeited their chance to go to the playoffs. They did it in a spectacularly unusual way.
I bought these orchids yesterday from a street vendor. My reward for a risk and well worth it, I’d say. The risk didn’t turn out the way I wanted, but I got my treat anyway.
