Inner180

From Constanze, a beautiful, joyful comment:

“Inside everyone is a great shout of joy waiting to be born.
Even with summer so far off, I feel it grown in me now and ready to arrive in the world.
All those years of forgetting how easily you can belong to everything simply by listening.
And the slow difficulty of remembering how everything is born from an opposite and miraculous otherness.
Silence and winter have lead me to that otherness.
So let this winter of listening be enough for the new life
I must call my own.”

- David Whyte,”The Winter of Listening”

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Constanze

———-

Among the many things I’m grateful for this year is the Joy Diet–the book and the wonderful participants in this adventure.  Personally, I’m more aware of my desires, the truths which both propel and block me, and the risks necessary to create these desires in my life.  Those risks don’t feel nearly as huge or scary because they are leavened with so many treats and so much laughter.

It is truly an honor to be a witness to the courage and growth of all of you–the Joy Diet participants, my clients, and those of you who drop in to read.  Thanks to each of you for being part of this journey.

Have a wonderful holiday!

Love,

Terry

Continuing with the laughter ingredient of our joy diets, we have Miami Herald columnist Dave Barry’s Holiday Gift Guide, featuring amazing finds such as a talking fly swatter, a baby restroom hanger (pictured above), and a gun shaped egg fryer.  As Dave says about these actual products, ”I would never have thought of that product in a million years without the aid of powerful narcotics.”  Click here for a head start on your gift list.  At least one of these gems is guaranteed to induce an out-loud laugh.

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’S DIARY
Day 180
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day 181
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day 182
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm – OOOOOOOH. BATH. BUMMER!
4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY
DAY 183
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 184
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair … must try this on their bed.
DAY 185
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was … Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 186
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 187
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call “beer”. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 188
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured._But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…

Okay, I’m going to fess up, right up front (Truth).  This is shameless nepotism (Truth, Desire). When you click this link, it takes you to two short films which are in hot competition (Risk) for broadcast on New York’s public television station.  The one that gets the most votes will be shown next week (Joy, for someone, at least.)

My daughter Amber was the production designer for The Greatest Gift, which means that she planned and executed the visual look (Creativity).  Watch it and notice the set, the colors, the clothing.  She chose the location, dressed the characters, and prepared the jello.

The film has many elements of our Joy Diet (Treats, Play, Creativity, Connection, Truth, oh such Truth), if you like horror movies.  And don’t worry, it’s not scary, really.  We’ve been laughing all afternoon, watching it and monitoring the vote tally.

Here’s my fantasy (Desire, Creativity, Play).  The Greatest Gift wins due to an overwhelming groundswell of support from joy dieters everywhere (mondo Desire, Creativity, Play).  The film gets aired on public television next weekend, and a famous Hollywood director sees it, and offers her a lucrative position on his next film (humongous Desire, Creativity).  She moves to California and launches a fabulous career (Joy).

From now on, I get to visit her in sunny California.  I’m here in New York with her this weekend, and it’s a bone-chilling 25 degrees and windy.  My eyeballs almost froze in my head this afternoon (Truth, I swear).

Ah, sunny California.  I can almost feel it!

So go vote, ASAP–the election ends this Tuesday.  Yes, we can.

David Sedaris talks about a unique accessory for men:

Sometimes I forget that I’m a joy dieter and have total responsibility for my thoughts and feelings. In fact, sometimes I hear stressful voices in my head, and I don’t go to Truth, I don’t become my own Compassionate Witness, I don’t find the painful story I am telling myself and substitute a story that allows me to feel better.  Nope, sometimes I have imaginary conversations, even entire debates, with people who aren’t there. And sucker myself into believing every scary, mean, outrageous, guilt-producing thing they tell me.  Oh, I do it way less than I used to, but sometimes, something will just creep right under my skin, lodge itself like a fat splinter, and I forget I’m on the joy diet.  And, I’ll justify, defend, argue, wheedle, hedge, barter, bandy, and split hairs with a figment of my imagination.  And feel awful.

It helps to realize I’m not the only one who does this.  In Bird by Bird, Ann Lamott outlines a method of quieting her mind when she converses with imaginary foes:

“Close your eyes and get quiet for a minute, until the chatter starts up.  Then isolate one of the voices and imagine the person speaking as a mouse.  Pick it up by the tail and drop into a mason jar.  Then isolate another voice, pick it up by the tail, drop it in the jar.   And so on.   Drop in any high-maintenance parental units, drop in any contractors, lawyers, colleagues, children, anyone who is whining in your head.  Then put the lid on, and watch all these mouse people clawing at the glass, jabbering away, trying to make you feel like shit because you won’t do what they want—won’t give them more money, won’t be more successful, won’t see them more often.  Then imagine that there is a volume-control button on the bottle.  Turn it all the way up for a minute, and listen to the stream of angry, neglected, guilt-mongering voices.  Then turn it all the way down and watch the frantic mice lunge at the glass, trying to get to you.  Leave it down, and get back to your [work].

A writer friend of mine suggests opening the jar and shooting them all in the head.  But I think he’s a little angry, and I’m sure nothing like this would ever occur to you.”

I suppose we should add this method to our stillness reportoire.

From Cam:

Suzanne sent these.  I laughed out loud at each of them.  I bet you will, too!

I’d forgotten how brilliant the young Robin Williams was:

Have you seen the Puppy Cam, the “latest internet sensation”?  Millions around the globe have tuned into this live streaming video feed of these six Shiba Inu pups as they wrestle, chew, yip, snuggle, and frolic. They were six weeks old today.  Addiction warning:  this is extremely habit forming.

Click here to watch.  Sometimes the camera is off, so if you see a still photo, just drop in later.

A few days ago, I listened to a recording of a class I taught.  I lost count of the number of times I said “um.” The next day, I had dinner with a friend who told me that she is a Toastmasters member and at a recent meeting, her job was to count the number of times a speaker said “um.”  This kind of coincidence happens so often that I’m not amazed by it any more.

I asked her if people could actually improve their “um” habit.  She assured me they could.  So, because I’m on the joy diet and taking risks, I’m joining her Toastmasters group.  I’ll have my “ums” formally counted.

They say that public speaking is one of the most stressful things you can do.  Public speaking without the crutch of “um” to regroup your thoughts seems more than stressful.  It seems impossible.

But, I’m not going to dwell on how nervous this thought gets me.  Nope.  I’m going to approach this playfully.  I intend to become completely absorbed in what I’m doing and to let go of the outcome.  I’ll, uh, keep you posted.