What am I feeling? Excited, happy, with a tinge of dread.
What hurts? A heavy place on the left side of my heart.
What is the painful story I am telling myself? Don’t get too excited. Don’t count on it. Don’t believe it until you see it. People change their minds. This might not happen. Don’t get your hopes up.
Can I be sure this painful story is true? No. Quite the opposite. This painful story is completely unverifiable and speculative.
Is my painful story working? Nope. In fact, it is dampening my excitement and joy.
Can I think of another story that might work better? Yep. Something fantastic happened and I am going to enjoy it to the max. I am going to let myself get really excited and feel my happiness. It is safe to be happy.
Compassion: I understand these thoughts are trying to protect me from disappointment, trying to keep me safer. So I’m going to understand, with tenderness and compassion, that they are the thoughts of little girl disappointment, trying to protect me now, and inadvertently creating unnecessary joy-robbing disappointment when everything is going wonderfully well.
0 responses so far ↓
1 hatt // Oct 13, 2008 at 10:49 am
Hi joy group!
Oh Terry, yesterday and today’s thoughts really resonate with me. I have been very busy this past week doing happy things, celebrating my friend’s wedding. before it all started I was worrying about having to work and having enough energy to do it all without being in physical pain. I was able to do my 15 minutes of nothing, and then tell myself the truth. “People love me. I will have a blast. I will be exhausted. I will have some pain. I will rest and sleep later.” Which is exactly what happened. I had a great time, I was exhausted, and had some pain. It was worth it. I rested later. The truth I am finding is that I have become grounded, able, and loving. I don’t have to keep seeking these things. I am these things. So I offer compassion to the place within me that is afraid to realize who I am now.
2 Dawn // Oct 14, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Hi Hatt
I love your greeting. It makes me feel just plain good.
Dawn
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