Inner180

Next week, I’m going to Miami to be on the staff of the Byron Katie School for the Work. This profound and life-altering experience lasts nine days and includes round-the-clock residence in a hotel for several hundred participants and about sixty staff members. The staff makes The School run like a fine Swiss clock.

When I attended the School as a participant last October, I was so curious about the staff. Who were these amazing, dedicated people and how did they get to do this? I felt like a first grader on the first day of school, watching the confident, sophisticated sixth graders.

Working quietly behind the scenes and in the classroom with Katie, there were coordinators and runners and techies and guides and leaders and hander-outers and facilitators. You name it, and there was a gentle, smiling staff member all over it. I shyly asked a few of them questions, and learned that by having attended The School, I, too, could apply to be on the staff.

I immediately knew what I’d want to do if I ever was on the staff: photographer. I am an amateur photographer and I thought that would be the coolest thing in the world—quietly recording the emotional highlights of people in the profound work of confronting their deepest truths.

One of my favorite experiences at the School was the taking of our group photograph. It took exactly ten minutes from start to finish for 320 of us to enter the room, stand, sit and kneel as instructed by the efficient photo crew, have our picture taken, and leave the room. I was flabbergasted. No one stressed-out or even raised their voice to direct us all into a tiny space to be photographed. We were laid-back and happy as we compliantly squished together, held still, and smiled. Everyone was in a good mood. Amazing, I thought.

Last week, I submitted my job preferences and put number 1 by the position of Assistant Photographer. I just knew it would never happen though. It seemed way too good to be true. (Is that true?)

My friends and I have been speculating about the jobs we want and the jobs we’ll get. No one wants an office job, in the back room, away from Katie, and away from all the action. Some part of me was convinced that that’s where I’d land.

Two days ago, I got an email from the School Director asking me to be the Assistant Photographer. I was elated and in complete disbelief as I quickly emailed my acceptance.

Then my thoughts intervened. What was I thinking? I looked at the photos of the School on Katie’s website, www.thework.com/school.aspI. Those pictures are awesome. I can’t do that. I’ve never done indoor photography. I don’t have the right equipment. I’m not good enough.

I figured I had better come clean. I’d better give them a chance to give the position to someone who was really qualified. It’s the honest thing to do. I sent an apologetic email to the director, confessing to my limitations. I sighed as I realized that my proper place was in the back room, entering data. I knew I could do that well.

A few minutes later I received this one line response: “I am sure it will work fine. We are all good and we are all amateurs!”

So, I’m off for a new adventure, with a new mantra: we are all good and we are all amateurs.  And that feels just right.